Tuesday 20 December 2011

The Big Fat Indian (Mallu) Wedding

The Wedding Season - I bet you did not know there's such a season- starts in Kerala as soon as Christmas is over. It sometimes extends right up to the middle of February. Then, it's like somebody turned off the tap and all social activity seems to come to an end till after Easter, sometime in April.

The Lent, before Easter starts then, and for 50 days, people again go off meat, fish, sweets liquor etc, to loose weight, as I've said before, I think. There are still a few hardy souls who do hold functions during this time, but most of them are NRI's who generally cannot organise their vacations to suit the regular Wedding Season.

The normal Mallu wedding would have about a 1000 guests  - I didn't think most knew that many people. Anyway, invitations are sent to everybody in the address book, to all relations, friends and friends of friends. It's amazing how many relations one seems to have when it comes to a wedding in the family - most of whom one has never seen or met and most likely will not do so again.

Most Mallu ladies have this common refrain -" you men can wear the same white dhoti (mundu) and white/blue shirt for both a wedding and a funeral and get away with it. We on the other hand have to be all decked up in our best Saris and jewellery. It's just not fair." It's a man's world in the land of the "lungi" for sure.

The weddings start from the 25th onwards. Sometimes, there are 2 weddings on the same day If you plan your schedule carefully, you can shut down the kitchen in your house for days on end. Unfortunately, if the caterer is the same, then you'll be eating the same food at all the weddings.

My brother & I once put forth this theory to our mother - we spend a minimum of Rs.500/- to attend a wedding - travelling & other sundry expenses. (early 1980's) Of the roughly 1000 people invited to a wedding, only about 200 or so, are keen on attending. The rest attend more as a social obligation & with ill grace. The 800 or so, I'm sure, would gladly send Rs.500/- to the couple, and with their genuine blessings. This amount should be enough to start the newly weds on their way.

My mother didn't fall for it!! Her take on it was quite different - I still have children who need to get married, and these weddings are the perfect place to put them on display for prospective In laws to check them out. This was way before the days of the ubiquitous "Marriage portals."

I'm now getting to the stage where my children will soon get married. In todays "I'll find my own soul mate" times, our above theory still holds good.

IS ANYBODY LISTENING?






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